Nanny Guide > Addressing Problems in the Employment Relationship

An experienced, well trained nanny deserves your trust, respect and confidence in her abilities at all times. However, if either your nanny or your children let you know that there are difficulties, it is important that you try to resolve the problem.

If you sense that your children's safety is at risk, make alternative childcare arrangements immediately - do not leave your nanny in sole charge of your child while you explore the nature of the problem. This will create problems for you and may be hurtful to the nanny, but the children's safety must be the top priority.

In all other cases, where your child is definitely not at risk, you should try to help your nanny to address the problem. Good communication skills are important here. Generally, in dealing with any difficulties you should:

• ask for more information.
• listen and uncover the nature and extent of the problem.
• try to find out if external factors are the cause of, or are aggravating, the problem (e.g. your nanny's mother is ill, your child is worried about starting preschool).
• decide what help you can offer. You cannot solve everything; sometimes an encouraging word and a willingness to listen is all you can do to help nanny deal with the 'terrible twos'.
• check back to see if this resolves the problem.

Sometimes problems will affect the children's well-being. Problems with school work, friendships, and dealing with divorce are not uncommon. When working with the nanny, ask yourself:

• Can the problem be dealt with by the nanny alone?
• Can we overcome the problem together?
• Can the nanny help the family/children cope with the problem?

Finally, if all attempts to resolve the problem have failed, you are faced with a difficult decision. You can either 'live with' the problem (her housekeeping standards are not the same as yours) or you will need to replace the nanny. If the situation cannot be resolved, negotiate an end to the work agreement that is minimally disruptive for all parties involved. Communication and good will are vital at this stage. An acknowledgment that everyone has tried their best but the problem persists is recommended; placing blame, by either party, is non-productive and can result in an ugly exchange between nanny and parents, placing your children in the middle.

Ending the Employment Relationship

Return to "Maintaining a Good Relationship: Pt. 2"